Turning 30, Part II

       I spend hours in front of my computer, trying to tell you stuff, all sorts of stuff, as if my heart was a great big coal mine and every day I go in there with my pick axe in search of jewels. It’s really hard work, and it hurts a lot. But every morning, I wake up more excited than the day before to grab my pick axe and get back to work. And what really boggles my mind is that I feel like I’m growing less wise as I age. The more jewels that I uncover, the more out of reach the concept of completion seems to me, because every jewel is more complex, more dazzling than the last. Sometimes I think, “What’s the point?! Who can keep this going, when the fruits of my labor will tomorrow run like sand through my fingers?” But that’s the thing. The deeper I dig, the more free I become, because what I thought was absolute and finite, is actually fluid and dynamic. The cavern is always expanding.
       This work is hard, but there is no other work that could ensnare me like sitting here now, trying to tell you about all the stuff that comes out of my coal mine heart.